Bullies

This is a big Kyrptonite for me when it concerns my children.  I will not tolerate them bullying other kids, and I will do all that I can to help them stop any bullying to which they are subjected.  Trying to walk through the bullying minefield with your child is just awful!  When do you step in?  What do you do when you decide to help?  There are no clear cut answers.  Yet, as parents we know that bullying situations can negatively impact our children throughout their life without appropriate intervention.  The pressure is enormous to handle these situations correctly!

Recently, my son was slugged in the face one to many times.  During a sports game in the front yard, one of the players got angry at the outcome and sucker punched my son in the face.  This particular bully has a history of slugging my child from uncontrolled anger at losing.  Since we live near this child, it is very difficult to distance ourselves from this behavior.  After the incident, I went over to the child's house with my son and confronted the issue with him and his parents.  My son has had so many years of this child's bullying he started to backpedal on his story of how he was slugged when faced with the other child's defensive version of the story.  Unfortunately for us, this child's parents have never acknowledged wrong doing of their child to me.  We have still to receive an apology for the strike.  Instead, all we heard was excuses and double talk about blaming on all boys for rough play. 

Come on parents!  Let's call a spade a spade and deal with the real issues.  You may not want to admit that your child did anything wrong.  It is difficult to hear that your child has been bullying other children, and our instinct is to defend our child and try to find a good excuse for their behavior.  That is the right approach if you want to raise a child with anger issues.  Take control while they are young!  Let your child know that you will not tolerate this them taking their anger out on other children.  You are not protecting your child by making excuses for them.

Let's work together as parents!  It would be nice if more parents would acknowledge these bullying situations for what they are and work with the other parents to find a solution.  If both children knew that both parents were working together, they would not be able to get away with as much.  The child being bullied would feel more protected and the bully would have more of a reason to stop his negative behavior.

So, get over yourself.  Your children are not perfect and neither are you.  Who cares what others think.  Take appropriate action where it is needed and do your children a favor.

What have been your experiences with parents when you approach them about their child's bullying?